Posts
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
20 Facts About Mister T
20 Facts About Mr. T
(HT: Julie)
Every time a bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is
folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. Regardless of the
situation, he is always understood.
Mr. T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment that Norris
roundhouse-kicked Mr. T in the chest. The result was the 80’s.
Twenty-three. That’s the number of fools Mr. T has pitied in the time
it has taken you to read this sentence.
Mr. T does not break wind. He destroys it.
Mr. T ended the civil rights movement by getting on a bus … all the
caucasian people moved to the back.
Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That’s why he can only kick through
doors.
Mr. T’s pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of
the concept of infinity.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse because Mr. T is going
to walk.
Mr. T coined the phrase “I see dead people” after the wait staff at
Denny’s forgot his birthday.
Mr. T’s edition of the VH1 show “Where Are They Now?” was the shortest
in the show’s history. It was 10 seconds of a black screen with the
words “Right Behind You” written on it.
Contrary to popular belief, Mr. T is not black. It’s just that the sun
is afraid to shine on him.
Behind every great man there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr.
T.
Mr. T once pitied the sun. The ice age followed.
Mr. T puts the laughter in manslaughter.
The last time Mr. T went to McDonald’s, Ronald McDonald greeted him.
What occurred next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown
ever recorded in human history.
Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting
“pain.”
If there is a fool in the woods and nobody is around to hear his jibba
jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.
It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T.
Mr. T once appeared on the show “Fear Factor,” not as a contestant, but
as a stunt. There were no winners and six deaths. Mr. T has not been
invited back.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
From Chris Cooksons Cereal is Just Cold Soup With Milk
Just goes to show-republicans are always right. Even though Kerry was a boob, and really, REALLY uninteresting, he wasn't off-point. he should have had Chris Rock be his voice to America...oh wait no-Chris Rock really would have been shot!
And I just wanna say: Chris, thank you for the horrible movies! I've not been able to watch horrible movies with (sniff!) company since my moms had me sit through Godzilla flicks when I was but a babe! I, I - I LOVE your taste in movies man!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
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